Time To Find A Home

Nathan and I are currently on the hunt for our first place as a married couple! It’s a fun and crazy time as we look for our many options.

We have found that this is definitely the most fun process for us! It gets us excited for life together and what’s in store for our future. Yes, we know it will be more than excitement and a lot of stress when it comes to bills and just being adults but we can’t wait. It’s a little glimpse into what it will look like being together and getting to start our own traditions as a married couple and preparing to start our own family.

Yesterday as Nathan and I left this apartment complex, he got very real with me. He isn’t normally the type to get emotional but as I was talking to him I just looked at him in the eyes and saw him tear up a little bit. He just explained to me how excited he is. We’re incredibly thankful and so blessed to be able to do this together at this time of our lives. Not a day goes by that we aren’t thankful for everything God has provided and given us clarity about.

As we go through these different apartment complexes, we’re paying attention to every little detail. What will be the best functionality, have the best space, the greater closet size ;), cabinet and counter space, etc. Will an apartment be perfect? No, but we want to make sure we make the best decision as this will be where we stay for at least a year as we save up for a house.

What do we choose? One bedroom or two bedroom? Well, we’ve decided that’s solely based on the pricing difference for what comes available in January. If a two bedroom is slightly higher than the price of a one bedroom, we will for sure be going with a two bedroom. Plus we will no doubt love to have that extra closet space… hehe 😉

As of now we are pretty much set on one apartment complex but will be keeping an eye out for other options. With this specific place, it has a great location near the highway for easy access for us during the week for work. That was a pretty important thing for us. Nathan travels all over the state of Georgia and highway access for him is pretty much a necessity. As for me, it’s definitely a great thing as I commute to work every morning and make my way to the square.

Do you guys have any tips for us as we go on the hunt for our first place? We’re open to many tips, tricks and suggestions!

I can’t wait to share more with you guys as we continue to go through this process!

*The photos below are the living space of one of the apartments we checked out yesterday. It was for sure one of our favorites we have looked at in terms of floor plans. Definitely liking the size of a two bedroom!

Floral Inspiration

Just a few days ago my mom and I went to the flower house. This is one place I love to go to see what flowers are in and just admire everything and the beauty of each flower. I love how uniquely God created each one.

I have always loved flowers. My mom used to have her own flower shop and I think that’s where my love for flowers came from. Shortly after I was born my mom closed her shop to be able to spend more time with her kids. She always said she has one chance to be a mom but many chances to be a business owner. She did what she thought was best and closed the shop.

Growing up she still took every chance she got to do flowers for family friends and quite a few weddings here and there the last few years. I started helping her more and more the older I got. Quickly I had a feeling this is something I wanted to get involved with.

I am so blessed and excited that my mom will be doing the flowers for Nathan and I’s wedding! I will love that personal touch and mom’s love put into each floral piece.

So this trip to the flower house was our first look into what flowers we will be using at the wedding and what look we want to go for.

Lastly, there may be some exciting news announced here soon. Can anyone guess what it may be?

The Day We Lost Him

Lately I have been in this rut of sadness and can’t seem to get out of it. The day I got engaged was also the day I lost someone I cared so much about. He had a huge piece of my heart and was someone that I wanted nothing but the best for. I wanted to help him in every way I could but I failed. I never wanted anything bad to happen to him and the worst happened. I have had the hardest time grasping what happened. I didn’t think it would hit me as hard as it did, let alone my entire family. There was just something about Dimitriy that I felt so connected to.

I grew up with Dimitriy. He was the kid I was in love with in middle school and as we grew up we ended up at different high schools but I always kept in contact with him. I felt like God put him in my life for a reason. There was so much of him that reminded me of my brother. I truly wanted to help him. I just never knew how. Little did I know that just talking to him helped. He always reached out to me. He would call me in the middle of the night to just talk about anything and everything. I tried to be there for him as much as I possibly could.

Dimitriy spent his last few days with my family. We took him in and gave him somewhere to stay. My brother spent a ton of time with him that weekend. We didn’t realize that we took him to his favorite restaurant to eat and did things that would fill his heart with joy. We found this out later on. The day he passed was on a Sunday. He went to church with us and ended up getting saved that morning. Talk about God really working in his life. I knew he wanted a change and I was so proud of him for giving his life to Jesus. I cried and smiled as he went to the altar.

After church we all celebrated and had a cookout at church for our pastor’s 30th year reunion. While we were there I ended up taking a picture of all of us. I never would’ve thought that would be the last picture he ever took.

When we got home my brother was taking Dimitriy and dropping him off to see a friend. I constantly replay the picture in my head watching him pack up all his stuff in the room he was staying in and telling him to stay in contact with me and let me know if he needed anything. I gave him a hug goodbye and headed off to meet with a friend. If I had known the hug I gave him was the last, I would’ve hugged him a little longer and a little tighter.

Later that day is when Nathan proposed and literally minutes after, his mom called and told us the news. The worst news we ever wanted to hear. Especially during a time when we were supposed to be celebrating. How do you even react in a time like that? It was instant sadness. I questioned why God would allow this to happen. I regretted not talking to him longer earlier that day. I couldn’t understand God’s plan. There was so much regret in my heart. Why didn’t I do more?

I couldn’t believe that I let him slip through my fingers the way he did. All I wanted to do was help him. He had so much going for him. If only I could go back to the moment when I said goodbye and didn’t let him go.

This same week the bible study I am in just happened to be studying peace. Again, amazing how God works. This portion of our bible study was exactly what I needed in a time of so much grief. God showed me so many different verses that would allow me to have peace in such a hard time. God’s hands were all in this. I loved what our book said. “Knowing who God is changes how we respond to the storms and turmoil of life.” I couldn’t agree more to this. I know that if I didn’t have God in my heart, I would have responded to this in a completely different way.

We can’t question God’s works. All we have to do is trust in Him and trust His plan. It’s hard to understand that’s for sure. I have found myself just weeping in my car all alone wishing I did more and wishing he was still here. I couldn’t even walk past the room he was staying in without crying. God has been my anchor through all this and I know he is with his family in this hard time as well.

Dimitriy was so special to so many people and knew how to always put a smile on their face. I will never forget the many amazing memories spent with him. I hope in this time more of people our age will see that this is so real. Life is too short. He was only 20 years old. You aren’t guaranteed another day and that’s something that I have realized very quickly. Know the truth. Come to know who God is and what his love can do. Know that you will spend eternity with Him and feel His grace while here on earth. It’s nice knowing he’s with God in this very moment looking down on everyone as a guarding angel. Oh how I miss that sweet boy. 

Things I’m Thankful For

Now that thanksgiving has come to an end I have really sat and thought about the things I am so incredibly thankful for. I can reflect on the things that mean the most to me.

God has given me so many blessings and things to be grateful for. The list is so long but here I will name a few.

My family. Gosh I could go on forever about how amazing they are and how I really don’t know what I would do without them. I can’t believe how blessed I am to have each and every one of them. Now that we are all home under one roof, I can let every moment sink in. We may have times where we all get on each others nerves but I wouldn’t trade having everyone home again for the world. I love having my sole support system with me whenever I need them or whenever I need someone to vent to. They’re all right there for me. I am so loved by this sweet family of mine.

My fiancè. Wow that’s something I still need to get used to. I am blessed beyond measure to have someone who loves me unconditionally. He deals with a lot and I give him lots of praise for that but more importantly, he’s there when I need him most. He’s so patient with me and that’s something God knew I needed when finding a future spouse. And that’s exactly what God did. He gave me someone I needed and he has been my rock since February 14, 2014.

Oh my sweet sweet friends. The ones who are just a phone call away and will go on a sporadic Target run with me! Just kidding! But really…. I love that I have another support system of such lovely girls who let me be myself around and who are there for constant encouragement.

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My biggest blessing of all? My God. Oh how amazing He is! I wouldn’t have these things if it weren’t for him. I always have to remind myself how blessed I am to have true unconditional love and grace. God is great beyond all measures and compares to nothing. He is all I really need and I am forever grateful for Him!

One of the things I really love that he has given me is a big heart. I also have a fragile heart. I never want to hurt anyone. But sometimes it hurts me in the end. Having a big heart is so great but being so sensitive isn’t the greatest because it sucks to feel hurt over things that don’t really matter in the end. I also feel like I need to please everyone. No matter the situation, I just want to make everyone happy. Maybe it’s because I have a big heart and that’s a way God uses me. It’s always best to be kind to one another and be the bigger person. I have learned that a lot this year and I am glad I have.

When I reflect on this year and the things in my life, I realize I do have a lot to be thankful for. Never forget the things you have been blessed with! Always acknowledge it too!

Contentment

Tonight as I opened my bible I thought a lot about all the things God has blessed me with. I am so thankful for everything and everyone He has put into my life. I realize that I don’t always appreciate the things He has given me and really take things for granted sometimes. My God is so amazing and I need to appreciate the things he gives me.

I am able to admit that I can often be someone who feels as if I need more. Why? Jealousy. Sometimes I will look at other people and see all the things they have and I find myself wanting the things they have. But in reality I have all I could ever need. God is all I need. I hate saying that I find myself being jealous of others and what they have but what I have is enough. I am SO blessed. I need to stop wanting more and feeling like I need more.

On Sunday, my pastor started a new series called “Full”. It’s all about being content with what God has given us. I feel like in this world everyone desires to have more and more. Why can’t we just stop needing more and really take a step back and see that what we have is enough. It’s such a great feeling knowing I have a home to go to at the end of the day. I have all I could ever need. Pastor Johnny actually told us to search in Google “How rich am I?”. It makes you take a step back and really analyze your life.

I am learning everyday to be content with what I have. I struggle with getting on social media and seeing things people have and wish I had those things too. Pastor Johnny made so many references that made me reevaluate my thinking. Stop wanting more. Be thankful for God’s blessings.

Philippians 4:11-12 says “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” 

Whenever you feel like you’re struggling, remember that God will never leave you. God will always provide. He is all you need!

My favorite graphics are from the app She Reads Truth. You can also go to their website. I love this app because it is an easy tool for me to open. I love the different studies that you can read within the app. I definitely recommend this app and website to everyone!

 

My Most Recent Read

I’ve realized that having a plan doesn’t always work out. No matter how much I plan, it just doesn’t seem to go my way. I realize more and more everyday that God has a perfect plan for me and it’s the only one that matters.

Last night I was reading my bible. I read the book of James after meeting with some wonderful friends of mine and said it would be a good one to read. I have never actually gone through and read an entire book of the bible. You would think after all these years of being a christian, that wouldn’t be such a hard task. It seems as if recently my passion and love for God has grown so much more and I just can’t get enough.

The beginning of James talks about trials. James 1:2, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” Going through life we are going to face so many trials and oh man will they test our faith. Just recently I have gone through something where I needed God more than anything. There were moments where I didn’t trust him and I feared that I wasn’t going to be okay. God will put you through these things but you just have to realize that you can’t ever let go of Him. I remember laying down at my doctors appointment so scared but praying and singing Good Good Father. I had to remind myself that God was with me in that moment and I needed that reassurance. Always have faith. 

When I reached James 1:26-27, “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world”, I had to pause for a moment. I thought about who I was in high school. I know for a fact I didn’t live by the word completely. I wish I was stronger in my faith during those years but unfortunately I wasn’t. I thought about the many people around me that call themselves Christians but don’t live by the word. I can’t say I am perfect in any way but when I see someone go to church every Sunday and then go home and act like a completely different person just breaks my heart. We need to show a constant representation of God and his love. We need to let his light shine through us! We can’t do that if we don’t truly live by the word of God.

As I went on reading and got to chapter four I read James 4:12, “There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?”. This is something I know I struggle with and not afraid to admit it. I wish I wasn’t so quick to judge people by their lifestyle. Whenever I see people drinking I just can’t help but think why? Why can’t you try to find joy in something else. Something that truly makes you happy and isn’t a temporary thing. As a christian that’s what we get the most hate for, judging others but in the bible it clearly states not to judge your neighbor.

James 5:19-20, “My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”

The book of James was a perfect and easy read. One I recommend now after reading it and seeing how many things I could relate to. My thoughts were all over the place going through it but I realized how much I needed to read it. God is working in my life right now and I know that. I know that as I sit and wonder what the heck I’m doing in my life, he already knows and he’s preparing me for the future.

The verses I have written down are ones that stuck out to me and were ones I really loved. Go through James and see what ways you relate. Any time you feel called to God’s word just sit, open your bible and read.